Future Mommy of ....1!!!

Weeks 10-17 ... I KNOW! Way behind!!

2010-05-01T17:11:00.004-04:00

Pic above is me at 10 weeks along. Just a tiny lil bulge.

Pic in the purple shirt above and below is me at 16 weeks. Belly starting to get a lil bigger.

I'm FINALLY through my first trimester! Although I was very nauseous and sick to my stomach, it could have been worse. I'm still tired, but not as bad as I was earlier. Today, I am 17 weeks 3 days along. My due date was Oct 7th, but the doctor moved it to Oct 6th at my last visit. I've been to the OB twice. The first time (at almost 12 wks), they found the heartbeat in about 2 seconds. The second visit (at almost 16wks), it took longer to find it. My heart was beating out of my chest!! I was so worried that something was wrong and they wouldn't find it. I know that I should always have faith, but at that moment, I was scared to death! .... The OB did find it, and I started breathing again. Whew!!!

It seems that at 16 wks, my lil belly all of a sudden started poking out a little. I had a lot of people at church this past Sunday say "Wow! Where did that come from??" Hmm. Guess I got hungry. Speaking of that, I do get hungry often. I'm trying to be good and eat tons of fruit, peanut butter and graham crackers, veggies, etc. I've only gained 3 lbs so far. (I haven't weighed in a few days though...) I'm on track for where I should be. I lost a pound in my first trimester, but since I've been in my second, I've gained a pound week 14, 15, 16, ... maybe 17? We'll see. I'll weigh again on Monday. :)

I am extremely thankful and overwhelmed that I am expecting. I thank God and pray for this baby constantly. I try to give Him my worry and just do what I should do to make this a healthy pregnancy. (Oh, I started power walking again-- up hills. 2 miles. I miss running, but I got out of shape so fast, I guess it's ok that I'm just walking!) ..... I have a huge prayer list with people that I know are still trying to get pregnant, those who have lost babies, and those who are currently expecting.

Ok, I must go, but I will be posting pics at 18 wks this week. (Oh-- thanks to my lovely sister, Megan, I will definitely be held accountable on making sure those pics are up! She has asked me every day for the past week "Have you updated your blog yet?? You're a horrible blogger!" haha. I know, I know. I procrastinate worse than anyone I know. ) .... Have a great weekend!!!!

Way Over Due Post...

2010-03-22T14:13:00.003-04:00

Yes, I know. I tend to fall off the face of the earth for at least a month after I post. Still working on trying to improve that! I will be 12 weeks on Thursday. (yay!) I am supposed to see the OB for the 1st time tomorrow. I've nervous b/c I haven't seen the ultrasound in a month. I wanna make sure it's still in there. The progesterone pills the RE gave me for the initial 30 days had some beastly side effects. Thank God I'm done with those! I'm finishing up the inserts on Saturday. I'll most definitely be ready to say good-bye to those.

We've been dealing with our insurance company. Turns out that we're out of network with my dr. But, they are working with us since no one within 25 miles take our insurance company. I was flippin out about it last week, but God showed that He does have things under control even when I'm doubting.

I'll try to get some belly pics up. My belly tends to grow and shrink every couple days. I'm guessing it's water?? Who knows....

According to thebump.com ... my baby is the size of a lime. Weird...

...Can it be???? ....

2010-02-18T11:27:00.010-05:00

My mistake: I looked at other people's blogs to see when they got a BFP. Lots of ppl got it on 9-11dpo. So, I tested on those days. HUGE BFN. :( Lots of tears. I skipped days 12-13.

Then 14dpo, I tested again. (not very hopeful though...) I POAS, then waited for the lines to appear. For 30 sec, it was negative and my heart sank. Then, just before I threw it away, this appeared....
My heart jumped to my throat! Is this for real?? Is it a false positive??? When I got to work, I called my RE. They had me come up for bloodwork that morning. After lunch, I got my results:

Beta #1- 215 (needs to be at least 5)

Progesterone- 22 (needs to be at least 15)

YAY!!!!

So, they scheduled me to come in a week later (21dpo) for more bloodwork. This time:

Beta #2- 2,702 (good!)

Progesterone- 15.5 (ahh! not good!)

The nurse barely got the progesterone level out of her mouth before I shouted "Oh no! That went down!!" They went ahead and put me on prometrium for 30 days to help boost my levels. ***Side note: This stuff makes me insanely emotional when I have to take it for 10 days... 30???? Seriously???***

I came back for more bloodwork on 26dpo to see if the crazy pills were working. Results:

Beta #3- 10, 700

Progesterone- 20.5 (good, it's going back up.)

Whew! These crazy pills are doing their job. Poor DH though! He just gives me a hug, and says "It's not forever... You'll be done w/ them soon." Sweet guy. He should probably hide for the next 17 days though!

You might have noticed that I took down all pics of me that you could see my face. We aren't announcing it to the world for another 2 weeks. (at DH's great grandma's 92nd b-day party... of course we'll wait until the end of the party though.) I'm paranoid that someone will find the blog before then and spread the word. I know, I know. Not completely likely, but still possible. :)

We told our parents this past Friday. They were very excited. First grandchild for my side, and first grandchild for DH's mom. :)

On Tuesday, we went for our first ultrasound. I was very nervous. Although I was trying to think positively, the worst case scenario kept popping in my mind. Especially since I have PCOS. Anyway, DH and I went it and was great! Here's our little one 2 days ago at 6 weeks 5 days:

I said, "There's just one in there, right?". She put my mind to ease when she said that the thing on the right is the yolk sac, soon to be the placenta. Whew! Okay, good! The baby is measuring one day ahead. The heartbeat was 133 beats/min. She said anything over 110 is good. The nurse also said that at this point, the chance of miscarriage is 20%. (YIKES!) But, with such a strong heartbeat, the chance drops to less than 5%. That's better. I'd still rather have zero, but I'll take it.

So, this is our little miracle! I am so thankful. I know that I am NO WHERE NEAR out of the risky time period, so I am praying all the time! I know that God is probably thinking, "Here she goes again.. It's only been 3 min since your last prayer!" :) I'm trying to not look at the glass as half empty, but it's instinct as a way to protect myself. I'm extremely humbled right now..... I'm also praying for you girls who are still TTC. Although I got a BFP 3 weeks ago, I am still very nervous about the 1st trimester....

A Not So Updating Update

2010-02-08T10:30:00.000-05:00

**Full update on our TTC journey in less than 2 weeks....**

My monthly posting.... :)

2010-01-19T10:44:00.000-05:00

Well, tis time for the monthly posting on my blog! Update: Round 1 on Femera with trigger shot didn't work. Frustrating, since I had high hopes b/c the clomid rounds didn't work. But, I'm trying to think positively. My RE said that it may take a round of Femera before it really works. We'll see.

Round 2: Last time on day 14, I had one follicle that was a 15. This time on day 14, I had one follicle that was a 19. Much better, right? :) The nurse couldn't see my left ovarie very well. So, I think there was just one mature follicle. We triggered that night, and are now on the forever long 2 week wait. I am praying A LOT, but also trying to keep in mind that God's timing is PERFECT. It may be now, and it may not be. I should find out a week from Thurs.

DH and I are under a lot of stress. Starting a business in this economy is very hard. We are doing everything we can to make it work. Also praying about that... We are with each other practically 24/7. At first it was a little trying, b/c he's the bossman and he keeps telling me what to do! haha-- I laugh about it, but it was/is a little difficult getting used to! :) My rule is we must hug about 10 times a day. Helps the tension.

I'm going to the gym today for the first time. (at this gym anyway) I hate going by myself, especially to a new gym. But DH has a phone conference. Guess I'll just suck it up and go!

On my final note-- I did get to surprise my best friend --(who struggled with infertility issues for over 3 years and is now preggo with twins!) -- by driving 5 hrs to attend her baby shower! She had a very nice shower. I was so excited to see her-- it had been about a year and a half. (at my wedding) Anyhoo, I better get back to work before the bossman comes up here. :)

1st, 2nd, & 3rd RE appts

2009-12-11T11:31:00.000-05:00

1st of all-- I've come to a realization. It's NOT that I'm a bad blogger. I just will periodically blog, then I want to push all baby stuff to the back of my mind so I won't obsess/worry about it. Then a couple weeks later, I will revisit the blog, then shove it to the back of my mind again. :) It's just how I deal with it!!

Now, to the RE Appts. I really like my doctor. He seems super nice and knowledgable. They tested DH, and that all came back NORMAL. They did a lot of bloodwork on me... All of it was normal except for the PCOS part. (I can't remember the name of what they tested.) She said normal is 4% and mine was 16%. LOTS of little follicles!!

They started me on Fomera. Just so happens (thanks God!), that my 1st appt was day #3, the same day I needed to start it.

2nd visit: Did ultra-sound... She saw several follicles at a 9 or 10, but none were big enough to do the trigger shot. The RN said that a lot of times w/ PCOS patients, it may take a month or so to get the follicles going. :( Left disappointed.

3rd visit: (Today) ... RN said 1 follicle was at a 15. It might be ready in a couple days. She'll talk to the Dr and call me, but I'll probably do the shot on Sunday. (Dr was out of the office for a bit)

So, now I'm just waiting for the phone call. I told DH that he was going to have to give me the shot. There's no way I can do it. I am very squeeeemish and afraid of needles. We'll see how this goes. PRAYING FOR THE FOLLICLE TO GROW AND DO ITS THING!! :)

Off topic, I am sore as crap! I mentioned to DH that ever since I started working for him (2 months ago), I haven't been able to work out in the evenings. So, I decided to get up 30 min early and work out downstairs. Yeah... I overdid it a bit. I can't MOVE! I about died getting up on that table today for the ultrasound. Oh well-- being sore is a good thing. Now I just gotta keep it up like I used to. But I'm SOOOOO not the morning person. :/

It is time....

2009-11-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

Well, after experiencing another lovely BFN after round 3 of Clomid.... I have made the decision. I have an appt with an RE on Monday. I'm excited! Hopefully we will really be able to get the ball rollin' and the babies flowin'!!

I've not told very many people about DH and I TTC. Although I would love to, I'm not doing it for 2 reasons: 1) I want to surprise everyone when we are preggo. 2) I don't want any more questions than I already get. I have some great excuses right now when people ask about kids: Me: "Ehh-- maybe sometime in the next year or so. We just started a business... Going to get stuff settled first..." or ... "We've only been married for a year and a half! Give us another year or so first!" It seems to work... But little do they know .... :/

I guess one good thing about having issues with conceiving is that it has made me more sensitive to others that may be trying to get preggo.

I'm also very very blessed to have such a great DH and family. (Although most of my family doesn't know about the TTC part...)

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!! More to come after the RE appt...

Not so crappy Monday... :)

2009-11-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

I am still not the best at the blogger world, but I'm trying!!! I've been keeping myself busy so I won't be concentrating on trying to get 'you know what'. :) So far, it's working okay.

As far as the 'you know what' goes, I'm not sure if I ovulated this month or not. I forgot to test a couple of days, so I'm hoping that it happened then... but who knows. Guess I'll know in a week or so. If this round doesn't work, then I'm going to see if my obgyn will send me to a specialist. I've already been checking on some of the ones in the area. I don't wanna continue to waste time.

In the meantime, I watched the ENTIRE 5 seasons of LOST. It took several months, but it is a great series!!!! I think I would be 'lost' if I hadn't watched it back to back. I can't wait for the final season to start in January!! (I think that's when it is...)

Anyhoo, I need to finish making hair bows. (Yep, that's one of my hobbies... along with selling pampered chef... I've been really busy this time of year!!)

*****LET GO AND LET GOD*****

Happy Crappy Monday...

2009-10-26T16:13:00.000-04:00

Today was the 2 week mark-- time to test! ... BFN. :( Then to top it off, hello aunt flow and the mother of all cramps. Yay.

The morning was rough, but after several small snickers, chips, pretzles, a pepsi and anything else I could get my hands on... I started to pull it together. (and put down the food.) I read Habakkuk 3:17-19 at lunch and felt a peace. Still empty, but a peace.

"Though the fig tree does not bud & there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails & the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen & no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Soverign Lord is my strength... He enables me."

I've called in clomid round 3. I'll start that on Wednesday. ...... I'm also thinking that I need to start posting other things besides just TTC issues. I'll try to get on that sometime this week. :)

Climbing back on the wagon...

2009-10-19T17:09:00.000-04:00

Well-- I fell off the blogging wagon. I'm trying to get back on! Life has been crazy with me helping my husband start his own clinic AND me working for him. Plus, I have been going through a "I-don't-want-to-read-or-write-about-anything-to-do-with-pregnancy" time period. I think I'm over it. :) ... For now anyway!

With the gall bladder MIA, we have proceeded with round 2 of clomid. I am back to my OBGYN in my hometown and she seems much more knowledgable about this. She used to work in a fertility clinic. If this round doesn't work, we are having DH checked out. She said she normally does that BEFORE clomid. Hmm.. my old doc needs to do some more research. Anyhoot, I ovulated and am now waiting to see what God has in store. I'll be able to test this coming Monday or Tuesday. Waiting is definitely the hardest part!!

To date: 15 months off BC.

Gotta go-- still at work!! :)

Bad Blogger...

2009-09-16T22:50:00.000-04:00

Yes-- I'm not so good at this blogging thing. I haven't written or logged on in like 3 weeks. BUT-- In the past 3 weeks, I've had gall bladder surgery, moved 2 hrs away the very next day, was sick for about 10 days, & am trying to help DH start his new business. Oh, and now we're living with the parentals while praying our house sells in our old town. Whew! ...

Back to the gall bladder thing- Yeah, I know some ppl are up and active within 2-3 days, but I was definitely not. Actually, 3 days later I was back in the ER. However, I'm SOOOO thankful I had it out. I'm feeling much much better already!!

Temporarily living with the parentals is fine. I'm thankful that we're able to live here, but it's so hard to do when you're used to living on your own. We want to be in an apt though within 3 months... please!!!! The thing I hate the most: LIVING OUT OF BOXES!

As far as the TTC-- I just got my RX filled for the pills to jump-start my prd & Clomid Round 2. I've talked to my dr. & I think she'll actually be monitoring me this time. I'm going to ask her about taking baby asprin. I've heard of several ppl taking it while on Clomid & who've had PCOS.

Okay-- It's late for me & I'm out. I'll try to read everyones blogs within the next couple days and get caught back up! :)

Short & ... eh.. short.

2009-08-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

Round 1 was a no go... Gall bladder surgery is scheduled for Friday. (will be confirmed on Thursday) DH & I are moving 2 hrs away on the evening of my surgery. Yeah, nice timing. Hince, the reason I haven't blogged--packing!! And the fact that we've canceled internet and I only have it now and then when a nice neighbor wants to send me some WiFi. :) Off to pack some more! ...

I know---In need of a specialist...

2009-08-12T17:20:00.000-04:00

I went to my "random d25 OB appt" today. I waited an hr and a half in the waiting room. Then they told me that my doc had to go deliver a baby. So, I went home for lunch, then came back an hr later. I wanted for almost ANOTHER hour and a half... and the nurse said "Umm... he said it was too early for you to come in. Come back next week." ---- SERIOUSLY??? I mean, I knew it was too early to come in anyway but I thought "Jen, you're not a dr.. just listen to them. You've never done this b4." *sigh* So after sitting in the waiting area for a total of 3 hrs & seeing lots and lots of preggo bellies, I decided to go get an iced carmel mocha. It was delicious.

Now, I get to twiddle my thumbs again until the 18th. :/ I'm telling myself it's okay. God is good. His timing is perfect..... Patience.... Faith.

waiting....at bonjangles

2009-08-10T19:42:00.000-04:00

After my last post, I got a positive on my OPT. Since it's the 1st BFP on an OPT in my LIFE, I was a little psyched to say the least! So, I ran a quick 3 miles to calm my nerves. (Yep, it was definitely about 3 min faster than my normal time...)

Right now I'm just waiting for my random appt on Wednesday. Still not sure why the OB is wanting to see me on day 25, but we'll see. We'll be moving back to our hometown the end of the month. So, I'll be switching doctors soon anyway.

As far as the computer situation-- we got a 'hand-me-down' from my family. Yay! We already cut off our internet, so now I have to park at the Bojangles down the street and steal free WiFi. :) ... ghetto.

Apathetic Doc???

2009-08-05T10:13:00.000-04:00

Hmmm-- so should I be concerned that my doc is not monitoring me until day 25? I've looked at several blogs who are being monitored a lot more frequently... :/

Computer Viruses & BFNs...

2009-08-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

Okay-- so I'm trying to type as fast as I can. I have no idea how long my computer is going to hold up before it crashes again! It has a lovely virus & has prevented me from responding to several of you who've commented on my blog. :(

Quick update: I'm on day 18 and still getting BFN on my OPTs. (by the way, if I misuse an abbreviation, just smile and knod and think "well, she tried.") :) I'm a little frustrated about not getting any positives. Charting my temp also aggrivates me b/c I can't remember to do it every day!! Grrr.. I have a dr. appt on day 25. So hopefully he can give me a little bit of insight.

However-- another factor being thrown into this: gall bladder. I've had issues with mine since I was in 2nd grade. I've had 2 ultra sounds on it, both showing no stones. But since ALL the women on BOTH sides of my family have either had it out or wished they had it out, I know it's going to happen. It's been bothering me A LOT lately. I have always watched what I eat (little to no greasy, spicy, or dairy food). But now, it doesn't matter what I do, I'm getting that stabbing pain in my back shoulder. A lot of times it's not too painful, but still there when I breath in.

So-- here's the plan. If this round of clomid doesn't work: I'm going to beg my doc to take that thing out! My mom had a HORRIBLE pregnancy with me b/c of her gall bladder. If the clomid does work: I'm going to see a nutritionist to see if there's anything we can do naturally to keep it in check.

Ultimately? I've been praying ... but not really one way or the other. God knows how badly I want to be pregnant, but He also knows how much of a wimp I am when it comes to pain. I'm just trusting Him. We'll see how it turns out!

Bye, Bye blonde... hello clomid!

2009-07-23T12:20:00.000-04:00

Farewell my luscious blonde streaks that brighten up my hair! Hello my natural light brown color. :( ... I tried in insert a picture of my hair here, but failed to do so. 1st time using the webcam & couldn't figure out where it saved the pic! Oh well.

So, I was stressed out last night about whether to work for my hubby when he opens his practice in a couple months OR to take a part time Pre-K position. It shouldn't be that hard, but I tend to make things more difficult than they really are... I've decided this morning to turn down the Pre-K job and work for DH for a while. (as in 6-9months) Hmm.. yes, 9 months from now would be ideal. ;)

During my moments of stress, I looked down at my cell phone and saw an "event" on my calendar. What in the world? ... It said "START CLOMID"! How I forgot that today was the day, I don't know! That completely turned my mood around. As I am downing a Pepsi and poppin' chocolate chips into my mouth I take my 1st Clomid pill! Yay!

Question for the wise folks: I was told to start testing for ovulation on day 10. (By the way-- I need an abbreviation cheat sheet!) Do I test just once a day? What time? I've heard so many different things. Do the cheap brands work or should I buy the clear blue tests? I don't have the whopper $200-300 one. Lil' sticks are gonna have to do for now. Thanks!!!

Spoke too soon...

2009-07-15T14:29:00.001-04:00

Hmm... Just last night I was saying to myself.. "..Self. You are doing really good on these 'get your period going meds!.' No moodswings whatsoever!" Then out of the blue-- WHAM! Poor hubby didn't know what hit him. Something he said that normally wouldn't have caused a second thought made me furious and then sparked a stinkin' water fall.

*Sigh*. What did I do? Drive to the nearest starbucks of course!!

I'm much better now. :)

Step 1...

2009-07-13T16:53:00.000-04:00

Learn how to make your blog look slightly more interesting than a slice of bread....

Step 2-- Add lots of fun gadgets on the side!! ---ehh. Maybe I'll save that for tomorrow's lesson.

Oh to be a blogger...

2009-07-08T18:09:00.000-04:00

Hellooooooo fellow bloggers! Today is the day I begin airing out my preggo journey to the world. (ehh-- or maybe just to the one friend who recruited me to be a blogger. Thanks Jenn..) Either way, here goes nothing.

Quick summary?: .... We've been married a year (June 28, 2008 was the big day). Off birth control since Aug. 2008. That would be 12 months now. Husband was a little concerned of babies popping out right after the "I do's". I reassured him that since I only have my lil "friend" once or twice a year, it's probably not likely. Tis true for us. NOW we're ready to get those babies a flowin'. So, I just went to the doctor today. He said I have PCOS. (figured) I'm now supposed to take some meds to jump start my period and then take Clomid.

Yes, I'm a little nervous about taking Clomid. Not necessarily b/c I'm afraid of having 7 babies (Lord please no...) but b/c I tend to lean on the hypochondriac side. I know -- I know. Just b/c it says "may cause dizziness" doesn't mean you're going to drive off the flippin road b/c the lines are dancing in the street. Ok, maybe I'm not that bad. We'll see how this goes... To be continued... :)